Ugly Renaissance Babies

The Kids Aren't Alright
Early Renaissance Deschi da Parto (Birth Tray)

COCKFIGHT

(submitted by Emily)

Early Renaissance Deschi da Parto (Birth Tray)

COCKFIGHT

(submitted by Emily)

Master of the Magdalene Legend, Madonna Nursing the Christ Child

Not sure if neck boob or goiter with nipple.

Master of the Magdalene Legend, Madonna Nursing the Christ Child


Not sure if neck boob or goiter with nipple.

Afro Christ, throwing up the shocker. Real mature, J-Chrizzle.

Not to mention it gives a totally new meaning to turning the other cheek…

Afro Christ, throwing up the shocker. Real mature, J-Chrizzle.

Not to mention it gives a totally new meaning to turning the other cheek…

Lorenzo Lotto, Virgin and Child with Saints

Baby Jesus definitely just farted.

Lorenzo Lotto, Virgin and Child with Saints

Baby Jesus definitely just farted.

Gerard ter Borch, Portrait of Helena van der Schalcke as a Child

First, she will consume her Easter eggs. Then she will consume your soul. 

Gerard ter Borch, Portrait of Helena van der Schalcke as a Child


First, she will consume her Easter eggs. Then she will consume your soul. 

Marco d’Antonio di Ruggero (Lo Zoppo), La Vierge et l’enfant entournés de huit anges

America’s Next Top Cherub

Marco d’Antonio di Ruggero (Lo Zoppo), La Vierge et l’enfant entournés de huit anges

America’s Next Top Cherub

Unknown Artist, Portrait of the Deceased Boy with Vanitas Symbols (Flemish, 17th c. [not Renaissance. Don’t really care.])

Soooooooooooo emo

Unknown Artist, Portrait of the Deceased Boy with Vanitas Symbols (Flemish, 17th c. [not Renaissance. Don’t really care.])


Soooooooooooo emo

Hans Baldung, The Three Ages of Man (detail)
That baby looks like he’s about to do his best creeper-owl impression by rotating his fat head a full 360º. Fuck a spinal column!

Hans Baldung, The Three Ages of Man (detail)

That baby looks like he’s about to do his best creeper-owl impression by rotating his fat head a full 360º. Fuck a spinal column!

Filotesi dell Amatrice, Madonna delle Grazie

Holy fucking sprinkler titties!

Filotesi dell Amatrice, Madonna delle Grazie


Holy fucking sprinkler titties!

Alonso Cano, Vision of St. Bernard

That’s some impressive distance, Madonna of the Super Soaker Boob.

Alonso Cano, Vision of St. Bernard

That’s some impressive distance, Madonna of the Super Soaker Boob.